Time For Vacation And Some Sharing From The Heart

June 24, 2010

I must offer yet another apology as I have yet to answer those of you who have commented…but I will.

I am finally on vacation for a little more than a week.

Both my teenage sons are at Church Camp until tomorrow.  I have been daily praying for God to move in their lives in such a way that they will come back fully surrendered to His will, broken and humbled by His Mercy, Grace and unending Love for them.

There is still so much work God is seeking to do with my family.  He has been so merciful to us.  We have so many needs right now it is ridiculous.  However, as He always does, He reminds me that what I see as needs for my family pale in comparison to so many just in my own community…even in comparison with some who visit this BLOG.

I am fully convinced that this world is about to change.  Obviously that is a wide open statement that honestly isn’t fair to make.  Has God given me a vision of this?  No.  I have never had a vision in my 45 years of life.  But as Dr. L.A. Marzulli daily points out on his BLOG, the signs are increasing so fast that a person has to be willingly blind or truly and I mean truly and honestly just flat out ignorant of the fact that the world is on the brink of war…even nuclear annihilation.  Of course, nothing will happen outside of God’s timetable…nothing.

I  say this because as I stated on one of the posts on Dr. Lynn’s BLOG, I have had this sense that something…I don’t know what…but it seems like war is going to break out while we are on vacation during the week of July 18. I said it there and will say it here.  I pray I am wrong but am putting it on the record because I want to know if God is beginning to speak to me in ways that I have perceived in the last couple of years.

I am talking about that “Still, small voice”.  It happens whenever He puts someone on my heart and brings them to my mind. I will say a prayer for them as I wonder how they are doing and even as God seems to be telling me to get in touch with them…I don’t.  And every time I have either heard from them directly or from someone else that they are not doing well.

I have already spoken of what happened to my strong mentor that was arrested in a sex sting almost two years ago.  God had been bringing him to mind every morning before I went to bed.  I would wonder how he was doing and would pray for him. Then two weeks before his arrest, he emails me out of the blue talking about the old times. I gladly and happily emailed him back but never got a response.  Obviously because he was leading a double life and God had mercy on him (in my opinion) and had him arrested before he could do more damage to his family and those with whom he was committing sin with.  I still pray for him and know that God can use him in prison to lead so many to Christ.  Knowing him, I have no doubt that like David, he too has a broken and contrite heart.  He lost everything.  And now he is suffering the consequences of his choices.  I pray God is working through him even now.

The other main example was my close friend of who I was the mentor of. He used to be in my youth group where I taught Sunday School back in the ’80’s in the small town where we grew up.  There was 9 years separating our age so as we lost touch after I got married and we both matured into older adults, the age difference was no big deal.  He was my little brother in the Lord.

His was a life that was a living hell the entire time I knew him. From the first time I met him his Freshman year in high school, all the way through his marriage (of which I was opposed).  I was opposed due to the fact that he was so lonely and hungry for companionship that he would go online shopping for a girl friend.  I felt a huge sense of urgency from the Lord to tell him that online was NOT the way for him in particular to meet the woman God had to be his help mate. But he was desperate.

After at least two different online relationships failed, he met up with one from a totally different Christian background.  The common denominator was they both had a TON of baggage they carried. The biggest problem was that he began to move away from being obedient to God during this time.

He used to go online with me to chat rooms where we would witness to the worst of the worst and so many times to just regular teens who were wandering aimlessly through this world with no direction whatsoever.  He was a great brother and a soldier in the Good Fight.

Then he met the woman who would become his wife.  As I said, they both had a ton of baggage they carried. He has many health problems from his childhood that he carried with him into marriage. Then in their first year, he had a horrible automobile accident and broke his neck.  He was in a halo for six months after that.

My friend is the type who is a master of self-deprecating humor.  This was his way of dealing with a life he couldn’t stand.  He told me how I should have been there as they drilled holes in his skull while he was AWAKE so I could smell the burning flesh from his forehead so they could fit the halo on his head.  He said the smell reminded him of my cooking.  That’s the type of personality he had. In the worst of times, he always tried to find a way to laugh…and he would almost always succeed.

It stopped getting funny when he called me one night as I was on my way to work. They had removed the halo but because of his condition, he still was not allowed to do anything as his neck was still in a brace.  He told me his wife would come home and just yell and scream at him every day because the house was a wreck and he wouldn’t do anything to clean it up.

This time there were no jokes.  He was at his wits end.  For the next few weeks we did not contact each other.  But the Lord kept putting him on my heart to pray for him and sadly I have to admit, I did not take to praying for him as seriously as I should have.

One morning I checked me cell phone and saw he had called and left me a message.  I checked the message and it wasn’t him.  It was his wife…telling me he was dead.


I still don’t like what I was told how he died in the hospital. I still don’t understand it but it is beyond my control and I am truly so happy for him now that he is out from the crud of this world and he is now perfected.  One day, he will get a new body with no worries, regrets or pain. But the best part is right now as I type this in the space/time continuum that I am confined to, he is in eternity with God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit doing literally only God knows what. I could not be happier for him.

I say all that to say this.  Those hits I was getting from the Holy Spirit regarding my friends were real. I will find out if what I believe are hits regarding the time we are gone for vacation is real or not. Only time will tell.

I do not desire to be a downer.  I just want to be real and I pray that I am in God’s will and if by some possibility God is calling me in this direction because we are indeed in the End Times, then I will be here sharing what God lays upon my heart.

Updates to come. God bless each of you and may He grant us all His wisdom.

In Christ,


One Response to “Time For Vacation And Some Sharing From The Heart”

  1. Marion5522 said

    So many things here have touched me. You spoke of your friend demeaning himself in comical ways. In Sunday school last week it was pointed out that there may be exceptions to “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Some people are so down on themselves that to be loved in that way could be damaging. Both of these have made me take a hard look at what I consider humility. I have come to the conclusion that I have spent years gladly accepting, if not actually seeking, the fuzzy end of the lollypop. Some things are not to be accepted and can actually be harmful to others if their behavior is allowed to continue.

    Secondly, the thought of impending war and/or nukes is not a new one to me. It would easily fit into the end times scenario. Even in this country we are indeed in the midst of famines and plagues. Many of them are not food or illness based. Look at unemployment, finances, weather (Katrina and Ike come to mind) earthquakes, pollution like the gulf oil spill and the increase in violent crime are some that I am immediately aware of. This nation has no place of significance in end times, and we are the only one trying to actively support the nation of Israel.

    I still believe we are a Christian nation, but I admit I surround myself with Christians and those I believe and pray will become Christians. I am aware of many evil things done in this country, (25 years of civilian police work) but I still believe this is a nation with a Christian core. That is one of many reasons we may well be the target of nuclear attack. On the up side I have often thought that perhaps this may be in connection with the rapture. I wonder sometimes also if, in years to come, the enemy will find a way of taking credit for getting rid of so many Christians. He does love trying to appear as a god.

    You say God has not “Spoken” to you, yet perhaps He has through the Holy Spirit. The Spirit has a way of initiating thoughts. It took me years to realize that. I used to chalk it up to feminine intuition or maternal instinct – neither of which I might add you can take credit for. I have no way of knowing; just felt you might want to sit on that thought for a while.

    Lastly, if God never does another thing for me what He has already done by Christ’s sacrifice is more than words can express. Yet I know He has been involved in my life in so many ways and I will continue praying for things brought to my attention that I know only He can remedy.

    Enjoy your time off and may you and yours be greatly blessed.


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