18 Years Of Love And War

June 9, 2010

I have taken some time off from the BLOG to just kind of spend some time with my wife and family now that summer break is FINALLY here.  This past Sunday, June 6th, was the 18th anniversary of the day I married my lovely bride.

If there is one thing I have learned over the past 18 years, it is the God is God and I am not.  There have been many hard lessons to learn to help me realize this Truth.  Through it all my wife has been faithful and true in spite of my sometimes less than agreeable personality. Even Sunday in the hall while going to our Sunday School class she still was trying to get me to stop saying, “Are you cereal?” Instead of “Are you serious?” 

Things like that drive her to the point of not-so-happy land.  That has always been a part of my personality and as I said, I have learned that God is God and I am not.  I say that because He is constantly reminding me that I am HIS vessel to be moldable into whatever He sovereignly chooses to make me.  One thing I have always been is a bit of a “Character” and because of that I sometimes forget that I am not in control of things but God is.  When I do get into my own little zone, I can really begin to show off without even knowing it.

But God is indeed God.  He has a special way of keeping me humble which in turn keeps me from wrecking His plan for me by acting out in such ways that would draw the wrong kind of attention to myself and in turn embarrass my wife and even my whole family.

My desire since the day I married my wife was to be the Husband to her that Christ is to the Church and to love my children in such a way that the world would see God’s hand in their lives by the way they live thanks to the example set at home by their dad.  I have been a huge failure. 

Early Sunday morning, right after midnight, I made it a point to pray with me wife of 18 years…something we used to do together before I began working nights.  It is something that as a husband is essential to have a Godly marriage and a marriage that honors our Father.  As it is the desire of both of us to continue praying together, we found immediately within the next 7-9 hours after having gotten up for church just how strong the enemy’s attacks would come at us. 

The attacks were full throttle.  I will not give the enemy victory by mentioning here what happened. I will say that it was not pleasant and it was painful to endure.  I had tried in advance to prepare myself spiritually but even though you THINK and even believe you are prepared, Satan’s emissaries still know how to best manipulate our emotions to get the best of us so God cannot. 

It was a great wake up call to the daily war I know we are always in.  Yet, I guess I even I was a bit caught off guard by just how ferocious and hate filled the enemy of God is.  Every day is a new experience in the eternal struggle for the souls of man and for those who are born again it is for the emotions and will that are in constant war even with our flesh. 

Being a born again Christian is the hardest thing to be.  If we are serious about our walk with the Lord, doing as Christ commands in Luke 9:23 is the beginning of a life that will be filled with hardships, heart ache and pain.  But with that also comes the greatest blessings we would never know otherwise.

These past 18 years with my wife have been filled with so much joy, happiness, smiles, tears, sadness, broken hearts, anger, bitterness, love, forgiveness and too many others to mention.  Nothing new there to those of you who are married or have been is there?  You don’t even have to be married to share in that which was just mentioned above…just living life on this earth will bring you each of these experiences.  But there is that special bond in being born again that you cannot know otherwise.  There is still so much I want to experience spiritually with my wife and children.  I want to be like Moses and be a Holy leader and bring them to the place where God has planned for them to be. I want to be able to keep my emotions in check because they are dead to me and alive in Christ alone.

It is my prayer that we have however much time God has planned for us to be together to be spent in His will and not ours.  That of course means we must both be willing to allow God to re-shape us into His image.  I know that this must start with me first.  I see the headlines every day and know that at any time the beginning of the end could happen.  We are on the precipice of a New World Order as the old traditional world we all grew up in is no more.  There are just a couple of things that need to happen and in God’s perfect time they will.

In the mean time, I want to live me life with my precious wife, striving to be the man God has always called me to be for her.  To love her as she so deserves due to all the hard work she daily puts into keeping our family together.  Without her, our family would not be held together at all.  God’s timing is perfect and it is my prayer that we are in that time together.

Here’s to another 18 years.  May the spiritual wars that I know are coming be won by a life surrendered to Christ alone and may our children see just how good the one True God really is.  May God bless our marriage and our family by our willing obedience to Him and Him alone.

In Christ,


4 Responses to “18 Years Of Love And War”

  1. Marion5522 said

    Well said. The surprise attacks, negative thoughts that seem to come out of no where, are less damaging now than they once were. They are no less painful but I’ve learned to recognize them for what they are. There are difficulties being born again, but I lived for years tangled up in the enemy’s wiles. The freedom I experience now by God’s grace (and a slap on the back of my head by the Holy Spirit) after giving up a chemical addiction, made blessedly easy by the Spirit,is something I revel in. I am now functional and available 24/7 for whatever may come up.

    In addition to that the Lord truly grants the desires of your hear once they are in accordance with His desires. The morning of my first mission trip as I stood on a large rock, looking through the dense tropical vegetation at the Amazon River I burst out laughing that I was actually there! There was an attack within the hour that left me with a black eye, but I found it a great asset when it came to getting the attention of the village children!

    Bless you and thank you,

    • Jeff D said

      (and a slap on the back of my head by the Holy Spirit)

      LOL…Marion, I love your way with words. That is exactly what I have experienced more times that I want to count. Thank you for your perspective on how God is working in your life.

      I would love to hear more about your mission trip to the Amazon. I am just picturing you there standing and laughing out loud in the realization that you are actually there following God’s footsteps for your life. Great and powerful stuff. Black eye? I guess that is to be taken literally since you say it got the attention of the children. Wow! Sounds like you have more to share than meets the eye (PUN INTENDED) 🙂

      In Christ,


  2. sandra said

    congrats on 18 years! Ive been married for almost 24 years (july). Ive had some things going on that I am not sure if its some kind of warfare, or just plain old bad luck. Ive never thought of warfare, not in a long time, anyway. but we’ve had a different tradgedy around here about every week! I mean my jeep has broken down twice since christmas, the first time it was major expense and time so it was down a month or two. the second time it was pretty minor. then my car broke down, it will be a major time consuming job, my stove quit, and the first 2 or 3 numbers on the serial number are rubbed off, so theres no way to see what manufactorer actually made the stove. its been broke for almost a month, Im going to try to get a new one this weekend. we had a water pipe in our yard bust last weekend, but my son and my husband fixed that. well… I dont know. Overall, Im not letting it get me down!

  3. Jeff D said

    Hi Sandra,

    Please forgive my procrastination in getting back to you.

    First of all I want to congratulate YOU on 24 years of union with your husband. Second, and I don’t want this to sound like I’m nit picking, but please don’t ever give credence to “Luck”. When we have lived as long as we both have and experience as much as we have, we know that God is sovereign and nothing happens outside of HIs knowledge. When someone tells me, “Good luck”, I usually reply with, “Luck is for rabbits” or more appropriately, “I prefer God’s favor” as it is obviously a better witnessing tool that the former.

    It sounds to me and I think the others would agree that it is flat out spiritual warfare OR…it could be God again sovereignly working in your life to bring to you a place of total dependance on Him alone. He seems to be preparing you for something big in your life but before He can take you to the next step higher up in your walk with Him, He must first prepare you for your next encounter with HIm and what the two of you will be going through together.

    I apologize if it sounds like I am preaching at you. I don’t mean to. I say these things because I have been through both. I can tell you that the latter seems to be the case with you in my humble opinion. However, if that is the case, you are also going to be going through spiritual warfare because Satan’s minions have their orders to keep you as miserable as possible.

    But I LOVE your response at the end, “Overall, I’m not letting it get me down”.

    WOW! IF only the rest of us could go through what you are going through and be able to say that honestly. You have a powerful testimony about what you are going through and whenever you do come back to this site and read my response, I personally would LOVE to hear the outcome and what God did and is doing through your life during these trials. We all could use encouragement from someone like you Sandra.

    Thank you for what you have shared. I do pray God will protect you from the evil one and bless you beyond anything you thought possible through the power of His Holy Spirit.

    In Him,


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